One More Light
by Wonderland in Chains
Summary: Loki's had enough pain for 100 lifetimes. Dedicated to Chester Bennington, may he forever rest in peace. FROSTIRON WARNING: Gore/attempted suicide/mentions of torture/non con


This is dedicated to Chester Bennington, my heart is shattered from the news of his passing. Linkin Park means everything to me, and to be completely honest, they saved my life. Their music was there for me when no one else was during most of my childhood. He was an amazing man that I was so excited to see perform live in October. He holds a special place in my heart, and always will.

I listened to "One More Light" on replay the entire time I wrote this. I was also crying so please excuse anything that doesn't make sense/spelling errors.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Loki glances up at the man at his side.

Ever since Thor had brought him back to the Avengers four years ago after finding him on the brink of death in the Asgardian dungeon, the Midgardians had actually began to trust him as he healed, much to the trickster's dismay. They actually hadn't beat him or interrogated him. Even going so far as to call him friend.

And Tony, that was a different matter entirely.

What these Midgardians had failed to notice, though, was Loki's want to die.

He had lost everything, been tortured to near death twice is a short amount of time, and been manipulated and controlled, rapped repeatedly, and so many more things. This was actually nothing new for the faux Aesir.

Of course, how else would he have bore Sleipnir all those years ago when faced with death if he didn't fix his not father's mistake?

He can feel bile rise in the back of his throat, the light burn of it slightly comforting as his body threatens to expell what little he had eaten as he recalls his sweet son back in the stables in Asgard. Odin had taken his son from him to use as his war steed. He supposes at least he wasn't banned from seeing him.

"Loki, stay down," Stark holds him down lightly as he tries to sit up. "Bruce is coming, he'll be here any second, don't you dare close your eyes," Tony sounds panicked, and Loki notices his hands are shaking as they lay lightly on his chest. He can only recall a handfull of times he had seen this man so serious in the last four years he had gotten to know him.

Loki manages a bitter, breathy laugh as his deeply slashed forearm throb lightly, promisingly. There isn't much an Aeair or Jotun could die from that is self inflicted, but they can bleed to death, and Loki can stop his magic from healing his gushing wrists. He had put a lot of thought into this. The last four years infact. He also had needed the right opportunity. He hadn't planned on the call the Avengers had gotten being a false alarm. Or Tony or any of the others to even come looking for his sorry excuse of a self. Tony had ripped the stolen scalpel from his hand and threw is across the room as hard as he could. Loki had heard the plunk of it imbedding into the far wall.

"What does it matter if I die? I'm one more unimportant light thats time has run out," Loki says blissfully as his fuzzy emerald gaze holds the form of a panicking Tony Stark.

"Loki, are you crazy? What the hell are you saying?! You're mad, and you have every right to be with everything you've been through, but that isn't any reason to try to kill yourself," Tony says in disbelief, ripping strips from his shirt and sinching the material as tightly as he can tie it on Loki's wiry thin biceps, the track the God had taken from the inside of his wrist to his inner elbow on each arm too much to try and tie up.

"I've been nothing but a burden to you and your team, along with everyone else that has had the misfortune of knowing me," Loki sighs as lightheadedness begins to pull at the edge of his mind.

"You mean a lot to m- everyone here, Reindeer Games! Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there. And if I recall corrrectly, your brother has been doting on you and there for you no matter what, and me and Bruce," Tony feels slight relief as the thick streams of blood slow ever so slightly. "Damn it, JARVIS, wheres Bruce?!" Tony screams in frustration.

"Halfway up the elevator, Sir," JARVIS informs not so helpfully.

"Speed the damn elevator up!"

"It is at max speed, Sir."

Tony groans in frustration.

"You should leave me be," Loki closes his eyes whistfully.

"Hell no, Loki, open those damn green eyes of yours," Tony slaps at his cheek gently until the God opens his eyes.

"Do stop pestering, Tony, leave me to my fate," the God can"t even muster the energy to sound cross. His eyes droop lazily as emerald meets chocolate.

"Loki, you're not fucking going to die. Not in my lifetime, so suck it up and keep those damn eyes of yours open."

Loki sighs as if he is dealing with a petulant child. "I do not in the least understand why you are being so stubborn about this. Not one person cares or ever will or should."

"I do, Loki, I do!" Tony is beyond frustrated. "I thought you know this. I don't fake liking someone. I spend time with you because I want to. Because I like you."

Loki gives a halfhearted laugh. "Now that is the first thing I have ever heard of that nature."

Loki draws is a shaky breath. "I am but one light in a sea of millions. Each light is as unimportant as the last. Life will go on as normal without me, as it would if any other were to die."

Tony can't believe his ears. Loki had survived so much when some people that take their lives had been through a whole hell of a lot less. He is for a second angry, then hurt, then disgusted, then remorseful.

And what gets him is that he understands. He had wanted to kill himself after Afghanistan. He would have too if it hadn"t been for Pepper. He had thought about it on a daily basis, and once in awhile after a really vivid nightmare even now. He can't fault Loki for this. He can't even try.

"Loki, will you let me help you to not hurt anymore?" Tony fixes the God with a soft gaze. Where is Brruce already?

Loki glaces up at Tony with a puzzled expression.

"I'm taking a huge leap of faith telling you this, Loki," Ironman says softly. "But I love you, and I would really like for you to let me help you no matter what happens."

Surprise sparkles in those emeralds as Tony gently takes Loki's limp and cold hand in his own.

Loki is quiet for a moment, then speaks through an audible lump in his throat. "You mean that?"

"Every word."

Tony can just make out the little tears in the corners of Loki's eyes. Ever so slightly, Loki"s fingers tighten around Tony's. He nods, and with a spark of hope in his chest, Tony presses a lingering kiss upon Loki's brow.

Tony can hear multiple footfalls rushing down the hall. Finally.

"You shouldn't care if one more light goes out," Loki whispers.

"Well, I do," Tony whispers back.


End file.
